My Story #20 – Top 9 lessons from 2017

My Story #20 – Top 9 lessons from 2017

Desi Jagger's Blog

My Story #20 – Top 9 lessons from 2017

There is a special energy towards the end of the year: holiday cheer, reward for the year just gone and the hopes for the year ahead. In the midst of all this excitement, I like to pause and reflect on my life and business over the past 12 months. So I paused. I reflected. Here’s what came up:

(This is a summary of the lessons. If you’re curious about the how and why, just reply to this email and I would be happy to share.)

 

Lesson # 1 – Focus on one thing at a time

At the beginning of the year, I made the tough decision to let go of training (more than half of my business at the time) and focus entirely on coaching. This enabled me to build a website in a week and to answer the question “what do you do?” in less than 3 hours.

 

Lesson # 2 – I can get used to anything

Working without a team, in the absolute silence of my home used to feel like a nightmare. Now it’s a routine I quite enjoy. After all, homo sapiens outlived all other human species thanks to our adaptability. Therefore, it is safe to assume I won’t suddenly undo millions of years of human evolution.

 

Lesson # 3 – Gratitude journals work

There has been a lot of hype about writing down the things you’re grateful for every day. I don’t believe hype so I tested out the gratitude journal. It worked for me. At the very least, it distracted me from thinking about negative stuff.

 

Lesson # 4 – Almost everything is outside of my control

The weather on my holiday, the delayed flight, what people say and do. Most things in this world truly are outside of my control. My mind is an exception. My mind is the master story teller, twisting and turning tales into tears, laughter, longing… The good news is that I am the editor so I get to choose what gets released and what gets canned.

 

Lesson # 5 – Health – physical and mental – trumps all other priorities

As a solopreneur, I am the CEO, operations director, brand manager, finance guru and coach all at once. This means that when the CEO gets sick, so do the operations director, the brand manager, the finance guru and the coach. This means there is no one to do the work and earn the money. There are few other things which could have such a drastic and instant effect on my business.

 

Lesson # 6 – It’s ok for relationships to end

I used to find it really hard to let go of people – friends, colleagues, even acquaintances. I believed the end of relationships was a failure on my part. I tried to fix them at all cost and the cost proved to be too high. My attention was divided amongst many, I was exhausted and had no energy for myself. Then I began to let go of people, mentally acknowledging the purpose we had served in each other’s lives and thanking them for our experience together. I felt light, focused, calm.

 

Lesson # 7 – Meditation doesn’t need to take hours

It can be a minute or three. To be effective, however, it needs to be performed daily. Meditation carried me through some very rocky times this year. The key was that I started meditating before I needed it. By the time the challenges hit me, I had developed a habit and it was easy to lean on it. I had a small set of meditations and voices that I already knew worked for me. Meditation was an investment in myself that didn’t pay off for a long time – but when it did it was totally worth it.

 

Lesson # 8 – “You want too much”

My coaching supervisor tells the truth directly, sans sugarcoating. I have a tendency to want things to be exactly like I imagine them, to happen precisely when I want them to and for everything and everyone (myself mainly) to be perfect. Oh, and this applies to all the one hundred things I take on at once. It has taken me a long time to see that I want too much. Now I try to be grateful for what I have and focus on the immediate next step. It’s work in progress.

 

Lesson # 9 – I am not an alien

Halfway through the year, I joined a mastermind group via my Fizzle community. The team is made up of solopreneurs just like me. They helped me stay motivated, kept me accountable, shared brilliant ideas and solutions. But there was a huge intangible benefit as well. Listening to their struggles, I realized I am not lazy or inadequate and my challenges are not unique. Now I am a little gentler on myself.

 

Looking through these lessons, I realized there is a recurring theme – focus. Focus on one business stream, focus on a few important relationships, focus on a few key projects, focus on my health. I’m curious, where in your life do you need to be more focused?

 

Share your top lessons from 2017 here.

 

 

My P&G Story #11: The 3 unexpected benefits of my sabbatical

My P&G Story #11: The 3 unexpected benefits of my sabbatical

Desi Jagger's Blog

My P&G Story #11: The 3 unexpected benefits of my sabbatical

I had decided to leave my safe, well-paid corporate job and I thought:

 

“I might as well take a sabbatical now. Who knows when the next possibility might arise?”

 

Like most people, I wanted to take a break, to do a bit of travel and spend time with my family.

Unlike most people, I didn’t want to launch a business, ‘find myself’ or learn something new. Instead, I wanted to forget about work, to lose myself and to unlearn some of what I had spent the last 7 years learning at P&G. Mostly, I wanted to do absolutely nothing at all. This change of pace brought about some unexpected benefits.

 

BENEFIT 1: I GOT MY FIRST CLIENT

HOW I GOT IT:

I completely stopped talking about work. It was tough – everyone wanted to know why I had left P&G and what I was going to do next. It was really tempting to share my dreams, to analyze my fears, to recall each step of my journey. But I stayed strong and didn’t indulge them. Eventually I relaxed and started living in the moment. I was surprised how much there was right here, right now. The magic lay in the balance between my P&G past and my training and development future. I relaxed and opened up and when, out of the blue, a man from Bahrain asked me to become his coach, I accepted the opportunity.

I got my first client by living in the here and now.

 

BENEFIT 2: I DISCOVERED THE ‘BEING’ MODE

HOW IT GOT IT:

For a whole month, I did nothing. I stopped planning. I didn’t invite friends out. I didn’t go to yoga. I just woke up and let the day unfold. After seven years in a demanding and dynamic job, doing nothing was not just difficult, it was horrifying. I had nothing to accomplish and therefore no way to justify my existence. When I completely stopped doing stuff, I thought there would be nothing left. But there was. It was called ‘being’ and it had been there all along, buried under deadlines and often useless actions.

‘Being’ allowed me to be proud of who I was inside. It was a welcome break from having to prove myself by constantly ‘doing’. Now I can choose which mode I want to be in and switch when I need a change of perspective.

I discovered ‘being’ by intentionally pausing ‘doing’.

 

BENEFIT 3: I GOT MY CONFIDENCE BACK

HOW I GOT IT:

I had joined P&G straight out of university. The company was all I knew of the working world. It was P&G that taught me the principles-based thinking by which I operate to this day. It was P&G that equipped me with the one-page template which I still use. It was at P&G that I met some of my best friends.

During my sabbatical, I actively un-learnt the P&G ways. I sought different perspectives. I ripped off the ‘P&Ger’ label and tried the opposite of everything I used to do. I played being the opposite of who I used to be. I remembered who I was before I started work. I reconnected with my natural strengths, some of which had been suppressed because they didn’t fit with the corporate values.

Then I put both sides of me together – the P&G lessons, skill and experience and my natural talents and values. A new confidence emerged – one that was stronger and not limited to one organization.

I got my confidence back by separating my identity from my job.

 

Looking back, I realize I don’t have to wait for a sabbatical to experience these benefits again:

  • I choose to live in the here and now. Daily meditation helps me with this.
  • When things start to get out of control, I intentionally stop ‘doing’ and switch to ‘being’. Asking myself “Who am I being in the face of this challenge?” usually does the trick.
  • Whilst my personality is a big part of my work as a coach, I constantly remind myself that I am not my job. I haven’t fully mastered this, but I am working on it.

 

If you were taking a sabbatical now, what benefits would you like to experience?

How can you get these benefits whilst working?